It’s all about you.

Sometimes, life can just get a little too much and that’s completely ok. I think everyone needs a little time to reflect once in a while. People deal with things in different ways and it may be that you haven’t found yours yet but it will come. I’ve had a think of some things I like to do when I feel I need some time to gather my thoughts so here they are –

1. Talk to someone – Whether it’s someone professional, a friend or a family member, it’s completely down to you. Getting things off your chest is a must, no matter how unnatural it might feel. Never feel ashamed. I myself have been to counsellors, on a number of occasions and at the time it was definitely the right thing for me to do. It taught me that I do in fact need to open up and deal with my problems and that the majority of people, have problems too. It’s always good to hear other people’s opinions and it’s always good to know that you have people that support you. People want to help and they will.

2. Surround yourself with loved ones – I so often hide away from people and ok, it helps for a little while but not in the long run. I get to a point where I start to feel isolated and only have myself to blame. It’s good to have some alone time and enjoy your own company but make sure you take up the opportunity to spend that much needed quality time with the people who care for you the most.

3. Don’t believe everything you see on social media – Social media is, in my opinion, a huge contribution to unhappiness. People only seem to post the good parts of their life, for obvious reasons, but it can often make you feel like you aren’t as successful/happy as them. You have to remind yourself there is more to their lives than what they show. I only have Instagram myself and I only follow people i personally know, no one famous etc, else I would spend my life being miserable and wondering why I can’t have the same life. Remind yourself that there are probably people looking at your social media and thinking you have the best life ever.

4. Start a hobby – Ok, this one I haven’t actually stuck to, mainly down to the fact I just haven’t made time for it but I definitely think it’s a must. It’s always good to do something you enjoy, it releases happy hormones and you can shut off the world for a short time while completing it. You don’t even need to leave the house if you don’t want to, you can literally do anything from crafts to ice skating. If you have a passion for something, why aren’t you doing it?? Anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

5. Look after yourself – Every now and again you need to have a little unwind and just focus on you. Once a week, put an hour or two aside and have a little pamper. Have a nice bath as opposed to a shower, put a hair mask in, apply a face mask and just chill. It’s good to have some time to just relax and it definitely releases some of the unwanted tension throughout the week. Sometimes I even just paint my nails to feel a little more human!

Remember, you are not alone. There’s so many people around you that love you and so many different ways to look after yourself.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, if you have any suggestions feel free to share them.

Believe in yourself.

A Quick Update.

So, we’ve been in Cairns for nearly a week now, I’m very behind!

I don’t really know what to update, its been a weird week – very chilled. Nothing particularly exciting has happened. There’s not tonnes to do in Cairns, we’ve kind of explored but that’s just involved a lot of eating and some chilling at the lagoon, which by the way is gorgeous.

Sydney took its toll on my body – too much drinking and partying – so it’s been nice to be away from that side of things. However I do feel like people think I am worlds most boring human here, there’s only so many times you can sneak off to bed without people thinking you’re a party pooper. Those who know me, know that I’m actually the complete opposite, I guess I just haven’t felt up to it recently.

I came to Australia because I needed a change, I needed to ‘find myself’ and that in itself is a weird journey to go on. I have always been very free-spirited and independent but I’ve always had the support of my family to go back to when I’ve needed it. The first three months of my time here I was a lone wolf, I had my new pals but essentially I was on my own, I made it work – I loved it. As Ben and I have got closer, I guess I’ve had more of a sense of home – I have that security again (if I need it). In a weird way, because of this, the last few weeks have been hard for me, I’m missing home more than ever.  I’ve never had to really make friends, obviously I have friends, but my siblings and cousins are my best friends which makes being away from them even harder. And plus, at home I have 5 mums I can go cry to if I need to, but here I’ve not and that’s been a big thing for me to over come.

Don’t get me wrong, I have Ben and he’s been amazing with my (sometimes) bratty behaviour – but at the same time – he probably misses home too and is travelling himself so I don’t want to put too much pressure on him. If I really really need to, I will have a little break down to him but I don’t want to rely on him, I want to rely on me so I can grow. I think I’m doing a pretty good job.

Aside to all this, there’s not one part of me that wants to go home. I’m having the best time and I’m so excited for our adventures ahead. Our main focus now is to find farm work and to start ASAP, it’s proving difficult but at the same time I love the uncertainty, it makes life a little less boring. We’re just taking every day as it comes and making memories as we go.

 

xoxo

Byron Bay – Cairns.

Although I said in my last post that we are travelling the East Coast, it’s been more of a dragged out drive from Sydney to Cairns. We haven’t stayed anywhere too long and we missed some pretty big stops as we will be each be doing the route properly in the summer when the weather is better.

The last few days have been very very chilled, not too much has gone on but somehow I can’t seem to remember anything!

We got to Gold Coast on Saturday afternoon, neither of us really knowing what to expect but obviously it’s one of the most talked about locations to stop off at so we thought we’d give it a chance. I can’t say I fell in love with the place, it didn’t excite me quite like Byron – I didn’t feel l wanted to explore. We drove through the centre while trying to find somewhere to stay and I sort of felt like we saw it all. We spent the afternoon on the beach and then just had a very chilled night. Again, on Sunday, we spent the morning on the beach and then grabbed some lunch before we made our way to our next stop.

 

On route up to Noosa Heads we got pulled over by the police, something we expected was going to happen at some point as we’d been pre-warned by the guy we bought the car from. Unlike me, Ben is pretty cool calm and collected and dealt with the whole ordeal very well but unfortunately he had lost his driving license so I was advised to drive, I can’t say I was too excited to drive in the dark but hey ho. We got to Noosa quite late and had to find somewhere to stay but unfortunately we were too late to get into any campsites so we ended up sleeping in the Woolworths car park (HA). The next day we went down to the beach and just spent the day chilling, that seems to be what we do best, but who can say no to a bit of sun when we had been used to the rubbish Sydney weather. We decided to stay another night as it had got quite late and we hadn’t really planned our next stop, this time however we stayed in a campsite.

We got a call in the morning from our friends Luke, Charlie and Joe who had left us in Sydney a couple of months before hand to do their farm work, it turned out they were on their way back down to Sydney so we arranged to meet up with them for the evening. I was SO excited to see them which added a nice vibe to the day. We decided to explore the National Park today, something I was beyond excited for because from all the research and all the signs surrounding the areas on the way to the park we were guaranteed to see Koalas. We did the coastal walk around the park so you can only imagine that the views were absolutely mind blowing, breath taking. We took a wrong turn on the second half of the walk and ended up in the middle of a forest but we thought this might lead us to the Koalas – we were wrong, not one Koala was seen on our whole walk. After our walk we went for dinner and then to pass some time before the boys arrived, we walked along the beach under the stars. Very romantic. Theres nothing I love more than being under the stars. The campsite we had stayed in wasn’t open on Tuesdays so we decided that we would stay in the Woolworths car park again with the boys so we went there to wait for them. It was amazing to see them and catch up on the last couple of months and I wish it had of been for a little longer.

 

We then decided to complete the 17 hour drive over the next two days. Fun! But we made it to Cairns ready for the next week of adventure.

xoxo

 

 

Good things.

Adventures. New places. Old places. New faces. Old faces. New friendships. Deep conversations. Getting to know someone new. Questions. Laughter. Sunsets. Sunrises. The smell of the sea. Sand between your toes. Waves. Laying under the stars. Flowers. Wildlife. Nature. Ideas that come to you in the shower. Ideas that excite you. People who get you. Road trips. Sunglasses. Hot days. Rainy days. The smell of freshly cut grass. Clean sheets. Scented candles. Hair cuts. New shoes. New clothes. Old clothes. Photographs. Black clothes. Conversations at 3am. Morning kisses. Showers. Baths. Conversations with someone you’ve known forever – reminiscing. Family. Friends. Love. Water. Juice. Hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. Sun kissed skin. Freckles. Trees. Sweeties. Music. Dancing like no ones watching. Movies. Being inspired. Learning new things. Wooden floors. Fairy lights. Art. Museums. Looking out into the ocean and realising anything is possible. Clear blue skies. Knowing that everything is going to be ok. Crying – it’s not always bad. Being honest. The feeling when you realise you had nothing to worry about and your chest becomes a little lighter. Hugs with a little squeeze. Sun shining through the windows. Opening the curtains on a sunny day. Boat rides. Bbqs. Family days. This right now.

Sydney to Byron Bay.

If anyone had told me I would be living out of an old car and travelling the East Coast with a boy, I would have probably laughed in your face until I turned blue.

Well, travelling the East Coast was obviously on my to do list, it’s the other two points I would never have imagined. Now I’m not complaining, not one bit. I mean, given the option now, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ben and I decided we both wanted a change from Sydney life so we started looking at our options. The idea was to do our farm work but that didn’t go to plan so we decided to embark on an adventure up the East Coast ending in Cairns where we’ll meet Bens friend before we look into farm life again.

Luckily enough a guy in our hostel was selling his car as he was making his way back home, so Ben got involved – apparently my taste in cars was too expensive for backpackers – I didn’t actually see the car until about 20 minutes before we left (added to the excitement of it all). I can’t say I fell in love with it, but I couldn’t complain. It’s equipped with all we need and it works. That’s all that matters.

We left Sydney on Monday 29th May at about 3pm, much to Bens dismay – I just couldn’t bring myself to say the goodbyes to my Sydney family. I then slept the majority of the 5 hour journey to our first stop Port Macquarie. We didn’t really know what to expect here, we just didn’t want to drive too far on our first day (I say we, I didn’t do any driving). We found a little spot to park up on the beach front and spent the night. Falling asleep to the waves breaking has got to be one of the most peaceful things and waking up to the sun shining through the front window was enough to start the day off right. We didn’t stay here long, just got some food and then set off to our next destination.

Port Macquarie

Another 5 hours and we reached Nimbin. All I can say is the drive into the town was terrifying, pitch black country roads that seemed to never end. I can’t say I was looking forward to this stop off in the slightest. We had been told it was quite an odd place and on the way in we started to wonder what was meant by ‘odd’ but once we arrived it all made sense. When I say odd, I mean it with no negative connotations – it was bohemian heaven, fairy lights illuminating shop fronts, UV paint adding patterns of colour. I was very pleasantly surprised, it was enough to make anyone smile. As it was dark by the time we’d arrived there wasn’t much to see so we waited until morning to have a look around. We walked into the town for breakfast and had a browse, there’s not much to see as it’s literally just one street of shops but there is so many little details that any little hippy at heart would appreciate (i.e. ME). So much positivity expressed through everything.

Nimbin

Next stop Byron Bay. I was allowed to drive this time, I think because it was only an hour and a half away.. As soon as we arrived I had fallen in love. This place could not be more perfect for the two of us, the most free spirited town I’ve ever come across (other than Nimbin but I think that was due to the locals excessive smoking of marijuana). We found a place to set up camp and then walked into the main part of town, bikinis at the ready, and enjoyed the last bit of sun on the beach. Being in the sea whilst the sun was setting over the mountains has got to be one of the most breath taking things I have ever experienced and romantic. It’s probably the only romantic thing I’ve ever experienced.. with the best guy. Feeeeeeling blessed. In the evening we had the yummiest dinner at a gorgeous shabby chic restaurant just next to the beach and then went back to our humble abode.

Thursday was a very lazy day. We just hung about at the camp site and made breakfast and then went into town late afternoon. I was able to get a picture of the sun setting this time – no words!

Friday was a little more productive, we got up earlyish and made breakfast before heading to the beach early afternoon. As we walked up to water we were lucky enough to witness a group of dolphins swimming in the shallows. So so beautiful. We spent the afternoon in the sea, trying to ‘ride the waves’ – this resulted in Ben nearly breaking my jaw and me drowning numerous times but there was lots of laughing nonetheless. We then went for dinner in one of the best rated restaurants of Byron Bay ‘Earth n Sea’ (http://www.pizzabyronbay.com.au/) HIGHLY recommend if you ever visit – was deeeevine. The manager was Irish but had spent 18 years in Colchester living on the same road that Ben lived on – small world.

Saturday brings us to right now. We woke up early, drove into town and had the most delicious breakfast – healthy too may I add. Of course we couldn’t leave Byron without seeing the lighthouse so that was our last stop. The views were just spectacular, there’s something so mesmerising about watching the waves and looking out into the ocean that will never fail to amaze me.

This planet we live on is utterly beautiful and I’m so excited to be exploring it one bit at a time.

We have just arrived in Gold Coast, I’ll be sure to update you in a couple of days.

A New Adventure.

So, I could reel of a load of excuses as to why I haven’t written in a while but it would be pointless. In all honesty, I’ve just been living my life and focusing on myself – something I should have started doing a long time ago.

For those of you reading who don’t know, I moved to Sydney in February  on a working holiday visa – an adventure I had wanted to go on for as long as I can remember. It has got to be the best thing I have ever decided to do, a complete breathe of fresh air. I have met so many like minded people and being in a completely different environment has done me the world of good.

Back at home, I felt like I never really fitted in, I was on a completely different page to my friends, a different chapter, one no where near as advanced. I just sort of float through life, no idea what the hell is going on while they’re all settling.

This often got to me, I wondered why I didn’t want to settle and why I wasn’t ready but coming here has put it all into perspective. I couldn’t be happier.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet some of the most incredible souls during my time in Sydney, we’ve had more fun than you could ever imagine, making memories for life.

Now it’s time for the next adventure, with the most beautiful human I have ever met.

View from Sydney Harbour Bridge

VIVID

Darling Harbour by day

Darling Harbour by night

Bronte Beach

Adventure.

This blog is as much of a journey for me as it is for anyone that wishes to follow. I am writing about things that are significant to my life at the moment and what I am doing to get the best out of it.
I am a strong believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’ – I think, in life, the things that don’t work out how you wanted/expected aren’t meant to be, at least not at that moment in time anyway.
When things don’t work out, other things fall in to place.
I was adamant I would be able to cope emotionally with the anniversary of my dads death but in fact, like I mentioned before, I broke, I lost myself, I lost my way. I’m not complaining though, I needed it.. sometimes a little self-destruct is needed to self-discover.
I needed to fall in love with me again.
I’ve always wanted to go travelling but l I kept saying ‘next year, next year’ I had a sudden urge and didn’t want to wait until next year so back in November I jetted off to Bali on my own for 2 weeks of adventure!
It wasn’t part of my plan, but it made me feel something, I can’t quite explain it but all I know is, it made me smile. It made me want to get up in the mornings to make the days go quicker, it bought back my spark.
Some people may think of it as running away from my feelings and I guess in a sense that was initially what I wanted to do, but I wasn’t , I was simply removing myself from my natural surroundings to build myself up again in order to deal with things that I hadn’t felt mentally strong enough to deal with over the past few months.
I’m not saying pack up all your stuff if you’re having a bad time, but I’d definitely recommend stepping out of your comfort zone. I feel like getting into a routine can become a little tedious, almost draining. Waking up and doing the same thing every day gives you nothing to look forward to, unless of course you are lucky enough to have a job you love.
I met the most incredible people while being away and experienced some breath taking things. I laughed continuously, I found me again, as cliche as that sounds.

Being home has made me realise what really matters in life and what I really want to do.
I can’t wait for more adventures.

 

A Journey.

I think at some point in everyones life they feel lost – some for only a short time, others for a little longer. It’s ok, it’s normal and you’re not alone. To be honest, I can’t remember a time when i haven’t felt lost, nothing has ever made sense in my head and some times i can deal with that but other times, like right now, I can’t.

I have always believed that my purpose of being is to help others, it’s just hard to measure how well you are doing that at times. I am forever being told that my positivity is uplifting and inspiring, so I thought I would share it and I guess this way, being here, writing this, I can help a few more people.

The last six weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, I’ve spent a lot of it shut off from almost everyone and everything, emotionally and physically, trying to understand my thoughts.

The main subject my conscience has been battling with recently, is the loss of my dad. A loss is something very hard to deal with, under any circumstance. So many questions arise, so many thoughts. I realise now that there were a number of reasons as to why I did not explore my sentiments at the time of his death. I guess the main incentive was to stay strong for him, to make him proud, to show him that I could stand up to life and additionally I promised I would protect my siblings. A huge part was that I never really believed he was gone until more recently, numerous times throughout the week I would pick up my phone to update him on something funny that had happened, to quickly be reminded that there would be no response. Alongside all of this, I was determined to not let depression win.

Of course, as the year passed by, the depression hit. I could see the cracks appearing in the shell i had built up around myself back in May time but I just kept mentally taping them up. I removed myself from all situations that had any reminders of the time he was poorly and I tried to start fresh. It seemed to work for a short amount of time but more and more questions started filling my head. It wasn’t until a week before the anniversary of his death that I surrendered. I let it win. The last 6 weeks have been a blur.

(It’s tiring, thats all I can say. I couldn’t tell you the last time I slept a full night through.)

I was sitting on a train yesterday evening, the overwhelming silence surrounding me while every commuter scrolled viciously through their phones, alone with my thoughts (often a dangerous thing) when i decided to document my journey. I’m a reasonably open person, to a certain extent, and I find talking about my feelings and expressing my thoughts helps, even when it’s not myself I’m helping, knowing i’ve helped someone else because of my own experiences and advice is motivation to keep going.

So please, if you wish, join me.

Little by little, day by day.