A Journey.

A Quick Update.

So, we’ve been in Cairns for nearly a week now, I’m very behind!

I don’t really know what to update, its been a weird week – very chilled. Nothing particularly exciting has happened. There’s not tonnes to do in Cairns, we’ve kind of explored but that’s just involved a lot of eating and some chilling at the lagoon, which by the way is gorgeous.

Sydney took its toll on my body – too much drinking and partying – so it’s been nice to be away from that side of things. However I do feel like people think I am worlds most boring human here, there’s only so many times you can sneak off to bed without people thinking you’re a party pooper. Those who know me, know that I’m actually the complete opposite, I guess I just haven’t felt up to it recently.

I came to Australia because I needed a change, I needed to ‘find myself’ and that in itself is a weird journey to go on. I have always been very free-spirited and independent but I’ve always had the support of my family to go back to when I’ve needed it. The first three months of my time here I was a lone wolf, I had my new pals but essentially I was on my own, I made it work – I loved it. As Ben and I have got closer, I guess I’ve had more of a sense of home – I have that security again (if I need it). In a weird way, because of this, the last few weeks have been hard for me, I’m missing home more than ever.  I’ve never had to really make friends, obviously I have friends, but my siblings and cousins are my best friends which makes being away from them even harder. And plus, at home I have 5 mums I can go cry to if I need to, but here I’ve not and that’s been a big thing for me to over come.

Don’t get me wrong, I have Ben and he’s been amazing with my (sometimes) bratty behaviour – but at the same time – he probably misses home too and is travelling himself so I don’t want to put too much pressure on him. If I really really need to, I will have a little break down to him but I don’t want to rely on him, I want to rely on me so I can grow. I think I’m doing a pretty good job.

Aside to all this, there’s not one part of me that wants to go home. I’m having the best time and I’m so excited for our adventures ahead. Our main focus now is to find farm work and to start ASAP, it’s proving difficult but at the same time I love the uncertainty, it makes life a little less boring. We’re just taking every day as it comes and making memories as we go.

 

xoxo

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A Journey.

Adventure.

This blog is as much of a journey for me as it is for anyone that wishes to follow. I am writing about things that are significant to my life at the moment and what I am doing to get the best out of it.
I am a strong believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’ – I think, in life, the things that don’t work out how you wanted/expected aren’t meant to be, at least not at that moment in time anyway.
When things don’t work out, other things fall in to place.
I was adamant I would be able to cope emotionally with the anniversary of my dads death but in fact, like I mentioned before, I broke, I lost myself, I lost my way. I’m not complaining though, I needed it.. sometimes a little self-destruct is needed to self-discover.
I needed to fall in love with me again.
I’ve always wanted to go travelling but l I kept saying ‘next year, next year’ I had a sudden urge and didn’t want to wait until next year so back in November I jetted off to Bali on my own for 2 weeks of adventure!
It wasn’t part of my plan, but it made me feel something, I can’t quite explain it but all I know is, it made me smile. It made me want to get up in the mornings to make the days go quicker, it bought back my spark.
Some people may think of it as running away from my feelings and I guess in a sense that was initially what I wanted to do, but I wasn’t , I was simply removing myself from my natural surroundings to build myself up again in order to deal with things that I hadn’t felt mentally strong enough to deal with over the past few months.
I’m not saying pack up all your stuff if you’re having a bad time, but I’d definitely recommend stepping out of your comfort zone. I feel like getting into a routine can become a little tedious, almost draining. Waking up and doing the same thing every day gives you nothing to look forward to, unless of course you are lucky enough to have a job you love.
I met the most incredible people while being away and experienced some breath taking things. I laughed continuously, I found me again, as cliche as that sounds.

Being home has made me realise what really matters in life and what I really want to do.
I can’t wait for more adventures.

 

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